Reality

Ugh, the reality that I have not won the lottery or have had a large donation of funds has become clear now that I have daycare booked. My first day back it work will be January 30th and as much as I am looking forward to adult conversation with actual discussion back, I will miss the lounging around in my pj's with the most adorable snuggle partner I have ever had. Sorry Marcus and Boomer, you both have been replaced. We were lucky enough to get a highly coveted spot into Peace Care. This is the daycare that my brother's kids have gone and having watched them go through the program fell in love. The daycare is at our church which is about two minutes from our house and five from my work. This is awesome because it will really take me no time to drop my kiddo off and when quitting time hits, I will get to him that much quicker. I can predict however that on January 30th that I will hate that daycare is so close because I am guessing 5 minutes will not nearly be enough for me to compose myself prior to my first day back. I am pretty sure I am going to cry the entire way to work and wouldn't be surprised if I have to pee a lot so I can avoid crying at work. Marcus is pretty sure that within the week, I will be back to loving going to work and everything will be grand. He is usually right and I am looking forward to some sort of routine. I am nervous that I only have two weeks to start working on not laying in bed till 7 or 8 and actually getting up in time to be ready for work. Currently Sawyer eats anywhere from 8-10pm and after that feeding we put him down. He usually wakes around 3am to eat and than back to bed for another 3-4 hours, so usually I am up at 6 or 7 to feed him again. My biggest mistake at this point is that I don't just get up. I am also in the process of trying to ween off pumping. My biggest hope is that in two weeks I can be done pumping and my kiddo sleeps a little longer so I am not night of the living dead at work. I am sure I will learn to function completely on 5-6 hours of sleep if need be though. I am mainly weening off pumping due to a snowmobile trip in February, of course that is if there is any snow. Little hard to pump every 4 hours when you are in the middle of nowhere. This was a decision I completely wrestled with and still do. Mainly because I feel I am quitting for a completely selfish reason, and that is to go on vacation, and I could absolutely go longer. One nice thing, is that I can imagine pumping at work is not very convenient so it will be nice to be done by then. Marcus is also excited for me to be done because he says it is stressful on me which makes it stressful on him. That, and I could actually sleep through him getting up for a feeding and not having to get up as well and pump! We have managed to freeze some milk and did ask the Dr. about intermixing formula and breast milk and he said that is fine. We at this point have decided to do formula at daycare and and breast milk at home until it is gone. We had to the Dr. on the 16th for our 2 month appointment. I am excited to see how much my peanut weighs, especially since he seems to be packing the lbs. on. I however am not excited for 2 month shots. I was clipping the little guys nails the other day and accidentally got the tip of his finger, oh the face and the tears were horrible so I can't imagine what I am going to get with shots! Anyhoo, I am sure I will send an update on Monday after our appointment!

Jo